Relaxing With Time

Relaxing With Time

I feel that I am a very lucky person. I appreciate all things in life from the small such as the smell of coffee when you open the bag to make a pot to the large such as getting a job you always wanted. I do not know if it is inherently me or my experiences in life that have opened my mind to all of these essences.

I know that I am too empathetic. I used to get in trouble in school for reading when my work was all done. It would have helped if the teacher knew my work was done. I would hide my book inside the text book in order to read my newest story. Well, I would then be crying or laughing out loud and give myself away by “disturbing” the class. I have difficulty with reading and seeing cruelty. It is not so much violence; I have no trouble with action scenes or battles, it is one being cruel to another at the expense of making a victim. Yes, I was always one to challenge the bullies if they were picking on somebody. I didn’t often take my size into consideration during these situations. I would be into it and defending then wonder why I was spectacularly flying through the air. Just so you know, I am a little hardheaded. The bullies would not know what to do when I picked myself up and ran right back into them. We usually ended in a truce of some sort and sometimes even friends, including the victims. I guess with a strong sense of empathy; negotiation and liaisoning were my strong suits…..

I am telling you this as I now find myself as a retiree from my primary work with the public school system. My last position with the school system was as a special education supervisor which required enormous amounts of negotiation and liaisoning. As these are my strong suits you would think this would be a perfect position for me. On the surface that would be true; but as a member of a tax supported organization, the odds were stacked. My defendants were the students. My work was to make sure the system was doing the appropriate instructional programming for those students. You would think that this would be straight forward but the position was one of no real authority over any of the parties involved, students, staff, parents, or even my own office. Now, I can handle a lot of “gray”; however, the ability to empathize and see all sides with clarity was slowly eroding my equilibrium. I was not in it for the fight of just winning cases. I was in the job for the students. When I found myself not able to recover enough to balance one situation to another and to appreciate even the little things in life, I knew I needed to move on. So, I have retired retaining my firm belief that the public school system will be there for the students.

I am once again focusing on the little things in life, the smell of the coffee, the feel of the wind on my face, the beauty of a sunset…. I am remembering all the positives of my career in education which bring joy to my heart and rest to my mind. I am relaxing with time preparing to create another adventure to be appreciated in my life.

Posted in Reflections.